tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73541895784309108582024-03-16T00:09:22.871-07:00Adult Jokes BookLaugh… Because smiling is the second best thing you can do with your mouth!Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-12676224644865932612013-03-14T03:35:00.002-07:002013-03-14T03:42:23.304-07:00Adult Joke # 0033<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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One day God decided to make a companion for Adam. He summoned St Peter and told him of his decision. He explained to St Peter that he was going to make a human being who was similar to man, yet was different and could offer him comfort, companionship and pleasure. God said he would call this new creation “woman”. So God went about creating this being which was similar to man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. When he had finished creating this being that would now be called woman he summoned St Peter.</div>
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“Oh Lord, once again you have done a cracking job,” said St Peter when he saw the woman.</div>
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“Thank you, you are very kind,” replied God, looking pleased with himself. “I am now ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses to this being, this woman. I require your assistance on this matter, St Peter. I am thinking of making her brain slightly smaller, yet more intuitive, more feeling, more compassionate and more adaptable than man’s.”</div>
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“Good idea again, Lord,” said St Peter.</div>
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“What about nerve endings? How many should I put in her hands?”</div>
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“How many did you put in Adam?” asked St Peter.</div>
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“Two hundred,” replied God.</div>
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“Then do the same for this woman,” said St Peter.</div>
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“And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?”</div>
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“How many did we put in Adam?”</div>
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“Seventy-five,” replied God. “These beings are constantly on their feet so they benefit from having fewer nerve endings there, so I think I will do the same for woman.”</div>
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“Nice one,” said St Peter.“How many nerve endings should we put in woman’s genitals?”</div>
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How many did you put in Adam?” asked St Peter.</div>
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“Four hundred and twenty,” replied God.</div>
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“Of course, I wanted Adam to have a means of receiving extra pleasure in his life, didn’t I? Do you think I should do the same for woman?”</div>
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“Again, good idea, Oh Lord,” said St Peter.</div>
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“No, wait.” said God. “Fuck it. Let’s give her ten thousand. I want her to scream out my name.”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-24576582938912302492013-03-12T22:46:00.000-07:002013-03-13T00:53:26.134-07:00"Quote"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i style="text-align: justify;">Why did God create Adam first?</i><br />
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<i>Because he didn’t want anyone telling him how to make Adam.</i></div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-46574784470810807032013-03-12T22:37:00.000-07:002013-03-12T22:37:41.991-07:00Adult Joke # 0032<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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God says to Adam, “I have some good news and some bad news, what do you want to hear first?”</div>
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Adam says, “Tell me the good news first.”</div>
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God says, “I’m going to give you a penis and a brain. From these two gifts you will derive great pleasure and great intellect.”</div>
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“Wow, God,” Adam replies, “that’s great. But what’s the bad news?”</div>
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God says, “I’m only going to give you enough of a blood supply to work one at a time.”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-82797265660839424502013-02-12T09:24:00.002-08:002013-02-12T09:24:36.885-08:00"Quote"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>What does an elephant use for a tampon?</i><br />
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<i>A sheep.</i></div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-86196255602450301632013-02-12T08:53:00.000-08:002013-02-12T08:55:17.526-08:00Adult Joke # 0031<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Three nuns die and go to heaven, where they are warmly welcomed at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter. “Sisters,” he says, “I want to thank you for all your good work on earth. Now there's just a brief formality before I can admit you to heaven: each of you will have to answer one question.” And, turning to the first nun, he asks, “Sister Catherine, what is the Mystery of the Trinity?”</div>
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“That's the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,” she replies. And the lights flash, the bells go off, and Sister Michael is swept into the Pearly Gates.</div>
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“Sister Benedicta,” asks Saint Peter gently, “what is the Mystery of the Virgin Birth?”</div>
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That's the Immaculate Conception,” she replies, and she too is swept inside the gates with much flashing of lights and sounding of bells.</div>
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Sister Angelica is left alone, shaking a bit with nervousness. St. Peter turns to her and asks, “What, Sister Angelica, were the first words Eve said to Adam?”</div>
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Sister Angelica thinks it over, beads of sweat starting to appear on her brow, and finally blurts, “Gee, Saint Peter, that's a hard one.”</div>
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And the bells went off, the gates opened . . .</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-19079884230904971972013-02-12T07:02:00.003-08:002013-02-12T07:02:46.704-08:00Adult Joke # 0030<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">A blind man and his friend were walking along with the blind man's dog, when the dog simply raised its leg and pissed on the blind man's shoe. To his friend's astonishment, the man reached over and proceeded to stroke the dog's back.</span><br />
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“What the hell are you patting him for?” exclaimed his friend. “The dog just pissed on you!”</div>
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“I gotta find out where his head is,” said the blind man testily, “so I can kick his ass.”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-44480849508421554362013-02-12T06:58:00.000-08:002013-02-12T06:59:09.944-08:00Adult Joke # 0029<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">The Williams were suitably unhappy when their first child was born with no ears, and their best friends, the Cains, were well aware of this. Preparing for their first visit to see the newborn, Mrs. Cain reminded her husband that at all costs he should avoid any reference to the baby's defect.</span><br />
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In no time at all both couples found themselves cooing over the crib. “Look at those arms,” said Mrs. Cain. “He's really going to be able to throw a ball. And those legs—he could be a sprinter. Say, how're his eyes?”</div>
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“Terrific,” said the proud mother.</div>
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They better be,” blurted Cain. “Hell never be able to wear glasses!”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-29658461153158858582013-02-12T06:54:00.001-08:002013-02-12T06:54:45.536-08:00Adult Joke # 0028<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">This beautiful young paraplegic was sitting on the beach in her wheelchair, gazing mournfully out at the crashing waves, when a handsome guy came up behind her. “What's wrong?” he asked gently. “Why do you look so sad?”</span><br />
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I’ve never been kissed,” she explained, brushing a tear off her cheek.</div>
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“Well, I can take care of that,” said the fellow, and did, then walked off down the beach feeling pretty pleased with himself.</div>
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The next week he was walking down the beach again when what should he see but the same beautiful young paraplegic, looking more down-in-the-mouth than ever. “What's wrong now?” he asked, looking deep into her eyes.</div>
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I’ve never been fucked,” she said sadly.</div>
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“No problem,” he said, his chest swelling with manly pride. He bent over to lift her from the wheelchair, cradled her gently in his arms, and walked slowly down the pier. Reaching the end, he threw her in the water and shouted, “Now you're fucked!”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-65109180293420479122013-01-26T03:02:00.000-08:002013-01-26T03:02:30.667-08:00Adult Joke # 0027<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.</span><br />
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“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner, and don’t move.”</div>
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She then quickly rubbed baby oil all over his body and dusted him with some talcum powder.</div>
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“Don’t move a muscle until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.”</div>
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“What’s this, honey?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.</div>
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“Oh… it’s just a statue,” she replied nonchalantly. “The Smiths bought one for their bedroom, and I liked it so much I got one for us too.”</div>
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No more was said about the statue, not even later when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.</div>
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“Here,” he said to the statue, “eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smith’s for three days, and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water!”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-78913873228051071972013-01-26T02:55:00.002-08:002013-01-26T02:56:10.087-08:00Adult Joke # 0026<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">A mortician was working late one night examining dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he was amazed. Schwartz had the longest penis he had ever seen!</span><br />
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“I’m sorry, Mr. Schwartz,” said the mortician, “but I can’t send you off to be cremated with such a tremendously huge tallywacker as this. It has to be saved for posterity.”</div>
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With that, the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man’s unit. He then stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife.</div>
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“I have something to show you that you won’t believe,” he said as he opened up his briefcase.</div>
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“Oh my God!” the wife suddenly screamed, “Schwartz is dead!”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-53689657611798047412013-01-26T02:52:00.001-08:002013-01-26T02:52:40.926-08:00Adult Joke # 0025<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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There was a middle aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters who decided to try one last time for the son they had always wanted. After months of trying the wife finally got pregnant, and sure enough delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son, took one look, and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and told her there was no possible way he could be the father of that child.</div>
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“Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!” Then he gave her a stern look and asked, “Have you been fooling around on me?”</div>
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The wife just smiled sweetly and said, “Well, not this time!”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-81976710719183234092013-01-26T02:46:00.003-08:002013-01-26T02:46:51.252-08:00Adult Joke # 0024<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep and awakened around eight that evening. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He then slipped into his shoes and drove home.</div>
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“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house.</div>
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“Darling, I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary, and we’ve been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep, and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock.”</div>
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The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf again!”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-32007785437483072282013-01-26T02:37:00.005-08:002013-01-26T02:38:37.877-08:00Adult Joke # 0023<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two, but didn’t have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of fifty pence.</span><br />
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Murphy said, “Hang on, I have an idea.” He went next door to the butcher’s shop, and came out with one large sausage.</div>
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Shamus said, “Are you crazy? Now we don’t have any money left at all!”</div>
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Murphy replied, “Don’t worry laddy, just follow me.”</div>
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They went into the first pub they saw, where Murphy happily ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jameson Whisky.</div>
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Shamus said, “Now you’ve really lost it! Do you know the trouble we’ll be in? We haven’t got any money!”</div>
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Murphy replied with a smile, “Don’t you worry, lad, I have a plan. Cheers!”</div>
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They downed their drinks, and Murphy said, “Okay, I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper, and you go down on your knees and put it in your mouth.” Just as Murphy had planned the barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.</div>
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They continued doing this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk – and all for free. At the tenth pub Shamus said, “Murphy, I don’t think I can do any more o’ this. I’m drunk, and me knees are killin’ me!”</div>
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Murphy said, “How do you think I feel? I lost the bloody sausage in the third pub!”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-56743568521467726202013-01-26T02:28:00.000-08:002013-01-26T02:28:17.477-08:00Adult Joke # 0022<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One said, “I think I enjoy the </span><i style="text-align: justify;">rodeo</i><span style="text-align: justify;"> position the best.”</span><br />
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“I don’t think I have ever heard of that one,” said the other cowboy. “What is it?”</div>
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“Well, it’s where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup one of her breasts in each hand and whisper in her ear, ‘Boy, these feel just like your sister’s.’ Then you try and stay on for eight seconds!”</div>
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Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-41425098956021774152013-01-26T02:20:00.001-08:002013-01-26T02:20:26.895-08:00Adult Joke # 0021<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">Tom had been in the liquor business for twenty-five years. Finally sick of the stress, he quit his job and bought fifty acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week, and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet.</span><br />
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After six months or so of almost total isolation someone knocked on his door. He opened it and saw a huge, bearded man standing there.</div>
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“Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. I’m having a Christmas party Friday night, and thought you might like to come.”</div>
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“Great,” said Tom, “after six months out here I’m ready to meet some of the local folks. Thank you.”</div>
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As Lars was leaving he stopped and said, “Gotta warn you... there’s gonna be some drinkin’.”</div>
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“Not a problem,” said Tom. “After twenty-five years in the liquor business, I can drink with the best of ‘em.”</div>
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Again, the big man started to leave and stopped. “More ‘n likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”</div>
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“Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right. I’ll be there. Thanks again.”</div>
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“More’n likely be some wild sex, too.”</div>
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“Now that’s really not a problem,” said Tom, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us…”</div>
<br /></div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-41126506104584156232013-01-25T19:42:00.003-08:002013-01-25T19:42:52.755-08:00Adult Joke # 0020<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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A young woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But she remarried and this time had 5 more children.</div>
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Alas, she finally croaked.</div>
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Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to “Go forth and multiply.”</div>
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In his final eulogy, he noted, “Thank you, Lord, they’re finally together.”</div>
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Leaning over to his neighbor, one mourner asked, “Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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The other mourner then replied, “I think he means her legs.”</div>
</div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-77652580783999063512013-01-25T19:35:00.006-08:002013-01-25T19:36:08.999-08:00"Quote"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i style="text-align: justify;">What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?</i><br />
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>They both make you wait an hour for a two-minute ride.</i></div>
</div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-57940796119399657882013-01-25T18:26:00.003-08:002013-01-25T18:26:37.343-08:00Adult Joke # 0019<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">A guy and his manager go down to the docks. The manager is betting every dockworker he sees that his guy can make love to 100 women in a row, without pausing, and satisfy them all.</span><br />
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Bets are made, and they agree that they’ll meet the next day. The next day, 100 women are lined up along the dock. The guy drops his pants and starts.</div>
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<br /></div>
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True to his word, he moves from one to the next, satisfying each one without pausing: 1.. 2.. 3.. on and on he goes: 49.. 50.. 51.. He slows down somewhat: 83.... 84.... 85.... but he is still moving from one to the next, and the women are still satisfied: 97............ 98............. 99.............</div>
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<br /></div>
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...and before he can get to the last woman, he has a heart attack and dies.</div>
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The manager scratches his head in puzzlement and says, “I don’t understand it! It went perfectly well at practice this morning!”</div>
</div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-27501212158924475852013-01-25T18:23:00.002-08:002013-01-25T18:23:39.256-08:00Adult Joke # 0018<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, “Open the safe.”</span><br />
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She says, “This isn’t a real bank; it’s a sperm bank.”</div>
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He says, “Open the safe or I’ll shoot.”</div>
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She opens the safe, and he says, “Now take one of the bottles and drink it.”</div>
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After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband.</div>
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<br /></div>
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He says, “Now you see? It’s not so difficult, is it?”</div>
</div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-41585952250038978042013-01-25T15:57:00.001-08:002013-01-25T15:57:59.166-08:00Adult Joke # 0017<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!”</span><br />
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She says, “Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up.”</div>
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After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, “Man! My hands are really freezing!”</div>
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She says again, “Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up.” He does, and again that warms him up.</div>
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After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, “Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!”</div>
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<br /></div>
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She looks at him and says, “For crying out loud, don’t your ears ever get cold?”</div>
</div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-66450850665420360982013-01-25T15:52:00.001-08:002013-01-25T15:53:01.211-08:00Adult Joke # 0016<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.</span><br />
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They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 436.”</div>
</div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-48928052513703724122013-01-25T15:44:00.000-08:002013-01-25T15:44:52.129-08:00Adult Joke # 0015<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: justify;">A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop and asks the clerk to show him a scope.</span><br />
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The clerk takes out a scope and says to the man, “This scope is so good, you can see my house up on that hill.”</div>
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The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.</div>
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“What’s so funny?” asks the clerk.</div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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“I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house,” the man replies.</div>
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The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, “Here are two bullets. I’ll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife’s head off and shoot the guy’s dick off.”</div>
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The man takes another look through the scope and says, “You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!”</div>
</div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-16312841489815795492013-01-25T06:39:00.004-08:002013-01-25T19:37:10.411-08:00"Quote"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Do you know what 6.9 is?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>A good thing fucked up by a period.</i></div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-67819575990856596912013-01-24T15:18:00.001-08:002013-01-24T15:18:47.682-08:00Adult Joke # 0014<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man, “You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“In fact, I do,” said the old man. “After I have sex with my wife, the first time I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, “Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?” The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The doctor then said to her, “Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?”</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
“Oh that crazy old fart…” she replied. “That’s because the first time is usually in August, and the second time is in January!”</div>
</div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354189578430910858.post-48926202093214724422013-01-24T15:12:00.000-08:002013-01-24T15:12:53.260-08:00Adult Joke # 0013<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to make his first jump from an airplane. The next day he called home to tell his father about it.</div>
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“So, did you jump?” the father asked.</div>
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“Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!”</div>
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“Is that when you jumped?” asked the father.</div>
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“Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door.”</div>
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“Did you jump then?” asked the father.</div>
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“I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he’d kick my ass.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“So, did you jump?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over to the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, ‘Boy, are you gonna jump or not?’”</div>
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“I said, ‘No, sir. I'm too scared.’ So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat! He said, ‘Boy, either you jump out that door, or I’m sticking this baby up your ass!’”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“So… did you jump?” asked the father.</div>
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<br /></div>
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“Well, a little, at first...”</div>
</div>
Adult Jokerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05506859202923139701noreply@blogger.com0