Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two, but didn’t have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of fifty pence.
Murphy said, “Hang on, I have an idea.” He went next door to the butcher’s shop, and came out with one large sausage.
Shamus said, “Are you crazy? Now we don’t have any money left at all!”
Murphy replied, “Don’t worry laddy, just follow me.”
They went into the first pub they saw, where Murphy happily ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jameson Whisky.
Shamus said, “Now you’ve really lost it! Do you know the trouble we’ll be in? We haven’t got any money!”
Murphy replied with a smile, “Don’t you worry, lad, I have a plan. Cheers!”
They downed their drinks, and Murphy said, “Okay, I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper, and you go down on your knees and put it in your mouth.” Just as Murphy had planned the barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.
They continued doing this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk – and all for free. At the tenth pub Shamus said, “Murphy, I don’t think I can do any more o’ this. I’m drunk, and me knees are killin’ me!”
Murphy said, “How do you think I feel? I lost the bloody sausage in the third pub!”
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