Adult Joke # 0028

This beautiful young paraplegic was sitting on the beach in her wheelchair, gazing mournfully out at the crashing waves, when a handsome guy came up behind her. “What's wrong?” he asked gently. “Why do you look so sad?”

I’ve never been kissed,” she explained, brushing a tear off her cheek.

“Well, I can take care of that,” said the fellow, and did, then walked off down the beach feeling pretty pleased with himself.

The next week he was walking down the beach again when what should he see but the same beautiful young paraplegic, looking more down-in-the-mouth than ever. “What's wrong now?” he asked, looking deep into her eyes.

I’ve never been fucked,” she said sadly.

“No problem,” he said, his chest swelling with manly pride. He bent over to lift her from the wheelchair, cradled her gently in his arms, and walked slowly down the pier. Reaching the end, he threw her in the water and shouted, “Now you're fucked!”

Adult Joke # 0027

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner, and don’t move.”

She then quickly rubbed baby oil all over his body and dusted him with some talcum powder.

“Don’t move a muscle until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.”

“What’s this, honey?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.

“Oh… it’s just a statue,” she replied nonchalantly. “The Smiths bought one for their bedroom, and I liked it so much I got one for us too.”

No more was said about the statue, not even later when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

“Here,” he said to the statue, “eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smith’s for three days, and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water!”